The Voltron Diaries
by Reid Phantom
Summary: A short time ago in a galaxy far far away, we arrived at an alien castle in a blue lion robot spaceship. These are our stories. Lance! Hello and welcome to our channel! We are the Paladins of Voltron. We mostly just post video diaries about our adventures in space, but considering Pidge is the one who edits the videos there's no telling what could appear.
1. 1 - TFW You Get Abducted

**VoltronPals**  
 **Published on Oct 26, 2029**

Part one of two. Intros and exactly what you'd expect to happen when you decide to fly a mysterious alien spaceship.

* * *

"Greetings Earthlings!" chirped a young woman as soon as the video began. Behind her a trio of teens snickered into their hands while a fourth watched on, confused. Behind them was a young man who had a hand over his face and an older man who just smiled at the camera.

The scene cut away to show the smallest of the teens sitting in front of a starry background. "Hello, losers, and welcome to the first day of space school. First lesson: the Galaxy Garrison is run by a bunch of jerks and liars. Some of them are even bo-"

The video skipped and now the young man from before was standing behind the teen, who looked annoyed.

"I apologize if I've insulted anyone by referring to them as losers or jerks," the teen said in a monotone. "The guys at the Garrison are liars though," they added with a grumble.

The young man cleared his throat.

"What? You disagree, Mr. Pilot Error?"

The man sighed. "Fair enough."

"Anyways, we've decided to put together this account mostly as our own little video diary while we're out here kicking alien butt and defending the universe.

"Oh yeah, that's right! ALIENS ARE REAL PEOPLE! THE TRUTH IS RIGHT HERE!"

"Pidge, please."

"I don't need to believe, Shiro!

"Right so introductions before we get to the good stuff. My name's Pidge. You can thank Hunk and I for all this. We're the tech geniuses of the group with him on hardware and myself on software. We basically just-"

"Pidge, I don't think they need all the details on how we're posting videos from space," Shiro said, leaning forwards. "I doubt many of them would even understand what you're talking about half the time."

"Yeah, you're right I guess," they grumbled, slouching.

"Besides, won't that just make it harder for the Garrison to shut us down?"

"Yes, yes it will," Pidge hummed. "Well let's just say it involves satellites, wormholes, alien pseudo-science, and a makeshift relay." They waved at him and he straightened up to avoid getting hit. "The guy you see behind me is Shiro, by the way. Say hello, Shiro."

The guy smirked. "Hello Shiro."

The camera paused and zoomed in on the teen's appalled face.

The camera returned to it's normal angle as the man chuckled and waved. "Hello, my name is Takashi Shirogane, but everyone's just called me Shiro since middle school. I am - or was, I mean - a pilot for the Galaxy Garrison."

"Yeah, until you got abducted by aliens," Pidge said, wiggling their fingers.

The video switched to a cartoon of an angry purple person in orange armor with bat ears and a robot eye standing over a Shiro in torn clothing and chains. "Yeah, I don't remember much about my time with the Galra, the aliens. I didn't even realize it had been a year since I was taken until I talked to Keith," Shiro's voice said over the picture.

The scene changed back to the star room, this time with two of the other teens sitting in front of the camera, the skinny one and the confused one.

"Hello there, the name's Lance," the skinny one said with a wink. "Seventeen, cuban, ridiculously handsome."

"Are you done?" the other asked.

"What are you even doing here?"

"That's what I want to know! Why are we doing this?"

"We told you already, it's fo-"

The video began fast forwarding through the two going back and forth as a caption came up reading **They did this for fifteen minutes before the camera even started and over ten while it was recording!**

The video returned to normal speed as the shorter teen threw his hands up. "I still don't understand."

"Look, we're just doing it for fun, okay?

"Alright, so Pidge will have to edit that out. Where was I?"

"Flirting with the camera."

Lance glared at him. "Either do your introduction or leave."

"Fine," he stood up and walked out of frame. A moment passed of Lance watching him then he came back and sat down next to Lance. "I think Pidge locked the door."

A caption scrolled across the screen reading **Darn right I did!**

"Guess it's introduction then," Lance said, gesturing to the camera.

The shorter teen growled and crossed his arms. "I'm Keith."

"… And?"

"And what? What else am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know. Some fact about yourself, backstory, interesting tidbit, just anything. We're trying to break the ice."

"I hate stuff like this. I don't know what to say!"

"Start easy, what's your favorite animal?"

"Hippos."

Lance paused for a second and just stared at the other boy. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Keith just shrugged.

"Okay," Lance said slowly. "What's your favorite color?"

"Color of what?"

"Just color. In general."

"I don't know. None?"

"Right, this isn't getting us anywhere. Moving on!"

Accompanied by a lion's roar, yellow banners slid across the screen to replace the two with the last remaining teen.

He gave a nervous wave and smile. "Hi internet, my name is Hunk. I'm an engineer and culinary artist. The food part's more of a hobby though. I just like good food… but who doesn't right?" He held up a plate of green goop. "Alteans apparently."

The scene returned to the star room, this time with the four teens and Shiro. The three sat in front of the camera while Shiro stood behind them and Keith stood off to the side, leaning against the wall.

"Alright, now that that's over, let's get on with our story!" Lance cheered.

"Right, so Shiro basically covered what happened to him, or what he remembers at least. Aliens abducted him and the rest of the Kerberos Mission - if you don't know what that is, what are you doing with your life?" Pidge scoffed.

"Not focusing it around space travel?" Shiro offered.

"Lame!" Lance and Pidge said together.

"So if you don't know what the mission was, you can look it up. The public information on it is all accurate as long as you ignore the fact they lied about the mission failing because of pilot error," Pidge said.

Keith said something that was covered by a chime. Shiro just rolled his eyes while Pidge shot him a glare and said, "Rover, mark the time so I can go back and bleep that out."

A series of beeps came from off screen.

"Keith, we're trying to make this family friendly," Hunk pointed out.

"Yeah, watch your quiznaking language!" Lance chuckled.

"I thought they said family friendly," an accented voice said from off screen. "Shouldn't Lance mind his language as well."

"Naw, it's cool. No one's going to care about their kids running around yelling alien swears, just the Earth ones," Lance said.

"Do I really need to be here for this?" Keith could barely be heard asking as he leaned closer to Shiro.

"Yes," all four of the others on screen said at once.

"Back on topic," Lance said, clapping. "So Shiro got abducted during the mission along with the other two members."

"My father and brother," Pidge interrupted

"Right, but then Shiro managed to somehow escape three… four days ago?" Lance turned to the others, who shrugged. "Something like that."

The scene changed to a picture of a ship crashing while cartoon versions of the three watched on. Lance stood on a boulder in a heroic pose, while Pidge and Hunk hugged each other with scared expressions. A caption read **Not an accurate reconstruction, LANCE!**

Over it, Lance's voice said, "So Pidge, Hunk, and I had been chilling when we saw Shiro's ship go crashing into the desert. We thought it was aliens, mostly because Pidge was talking about the aliens he was spying on. Of course that meant we had to go check it out."

The picture switched to an actual photo of Shiro tied to a gurney surrounded by people in hazmat suits, captioned **Courtesy of a Galaxy Garrison surveillance camera.**

"I managed to hack into the Garrison's cameras and we found out that they had Shiro," Pidge's voice said. "We started to plan how to break in and get him, but Keith beat us to the punch."

The video switched back to the group, four of whom were staring at Keith.

"What?"

"It's your turn. What happened with you?" Shiro said.

"Pidge already explained. I rescued you."

"Yeah, but why? The people want details!" Lance said.

"What people?"

"Keith please," Shiro said, setting his hand on Keith's shoulder. "Just explain why you came to rescue me."

"Yeah, you did kind of just come out of nowhere," Hunk pointed out. "At least we were already out hunting aliens at the time, sort of."

"Uh, well, the same as you. I thought it was aliens too."

There was a pause as the four just stared at him.

"Back up, you thought Shiro was an alien?" Hunk asked.

"Yes. I mean, no. I know Shiro's not an alien, I just didn't realize it was Shiro in there."

"You broke into a government facility, and assaulted medical officers, all because you wanted to meet an alien?" Pidge asked slowly.

"Well, I mostly just wanted answers from the aliens, but yeah, I guess."

"Keith, buddy, I think this conversation says more about you than anything you said during your intro," Lance snickered.

Keith huffed and marched off screen, only to be pushed back on. Shiro wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders before he could try again.

"So Keith rescued Shiro -"

"With my help," Lance cut in over Hunk.

"Not really," Pidge snorted.

"- then gave us all a ride away from the Garrison guys before they could catch us," Hunk finished.

"He drove us off a cliff," Lance butt in again.

"I had everything under control."

" _You drove us off a cliff!_ "

"Boys," Shiro warned.

"After that Keith brought us to his creepy cabin in the des-" Hunk started again, but was once more cut off by Lance.

"I think cabin is being generous. It was a shack."

Keith shrugged. "Shed, technically."

"And after that Keith started rambling on like a crazy conspiracy theorist about weird energies and lion carvings," Lance said.

"It's wasn't a crazy conspiracy!"

"It sounded like a crazy conspiracy at the time."

"Then Hunk revealed he had gone through my bag," Pidge said over the two's bickering. "Without asking, might I add."

"I was hungry and looking for food!"

"Keith had food in the cupboards!"

"Keith had hermit food, not people food! Oh, no offense, Keith. I just don't understand how you can live off canned beans, meat, and fruit."

"Food's food."

"No, Keith."

"Bet that stuff would have tasted better than the food goo," Lance pointed out.

"True," Hunk agreed and some indecipherable grumbling came from offscreen. "But while I was in there I read some of Pidge's diary."

"I still have to get you back for that."

The scene changed to an overhead view of what appeared to be a bedroom. Hunk came in through a sliding door, yawning. He pulled back the blanket on the bed, revealing the words **You know what you did!** written in green goo across the sheets. "Oh come on Pidge, I said I was sorry," he whined, heading back out of the room.

The scene returned to the group.

"Sorry Pidge, I was just curious."

"Hunk, I love you, but you really need to remember that curiosity killed the cat," Lance said, leaning against the bigger boy.

"But satisfaction brought it back."

"Shut your quiznak, Keith."

"I still don't think that's how that word is used."

"And I don-"

The video cut and both Lance and Keith were gone.

"The children are in time-out because they can't play nice together," Pidge snorted.

"Pidge."

"And by time-out, he means they're locked in a maze and have to work together to get out."

"Hunk!"

"Hopefully they won't kill each other. Just in case, my bet's on Keith surviving longest."

Shiro groaned and ran his hand over his face.

"So Hunk figured out some of the data I got while spying on the aliens was the emission spectrum of a foreign element. We figured this element must have been apart of this weapon Shiro and I had heard the aliens talking about, Voltron, so Hunk rigged up a device to track it down."

"Yeah, and it lead us to this crazy alien ship that was shaped like a giant blue lion!" A photo came up of said lion with Lance leaning against its paw. It was captioned **Blue boy included for size reference.** Hunk's voice carried on without missing a beat. "We thought it was Voltron at first, but then Lance knocked on its force field and suddenly these images were flashing through our minds! We saw the Blue Lion flying with these other four lions and then BOOM!" The photo switched to another featuring a humanoid robot with different colored lions acting as its limbs. "They came together to make one even bigger robot guy!"

"It turns out the big guy was really Voltron. The Blue Lion was just a part of it," Shiro's voice explained.

"Speaking of Blue, Lance, genius that he is, decided to take it for a joy ride."

The video switched to Keith and Lance, both disheveled, half-awake, and in odd armor.

"Who wouldn't want to fly an alien spaceship if they found one abandoned and ready for flying?" Lance asked, throwing his hands in the air. He turned to Keith, looking ready for a fight, but the other boy just nodded. "See, even mullet agrees!"

"Although, your flying was terrible and you're an experienced pilot. If someone else with less skill than you tried that they probably would have died."

Lance opened his mouth to shout, the snapped it closed. He turned to look off to the side of the camera. "Was that a compliment or insult?"

Quiet snickering could be heard close by.

Keith blinked a few times before yawning. "Neither? I was just saying the truth… right?"

"How long were they in there?" came Pidge's whisper.

"Just under four hours," Shiro's voice sighed.

"Hey, it's not our fault! Who thought invisible electrified mazes were a good idea?" Lance shouted.

Keith shrugged, holding his hands up in an _I don't know_ position. "Aliens?"

Lance glared at him as Pidge's muffled laughter rang out. "You did that on accident, didn't you?"

"Did what?"

The scene cut back to the others and Hunk turned to Pidge. "Speaking of which, we should probably put a disclaimer on these videos. The stuff we do isn't exactly stuff other people should be trying."

"He's got a point," Shiro agreed.

"You mean something like," Pidge started before the screen went black. "Warning: these people are all either professionals, geniuses, aliens, idiots, or some combination thereof. Do not try this at home," they continued as a caption reading just that scrolled up the screen.

The screen returned to the group and Shiro shrugged. "Works for me. Most are probably just going to assume this is fake anyways."

"Right, so where were we?" Pidge asked.

"Lance took Blue for a ride," Hunk said. "And then we went into space and ran into a Galra ship. It was pretty scary, but Lance managed to evade their lasers and we lead them away from Earth."

"And by away, we mean _away._ The lions are way faster than anything on Earth," Pidge added. "We traveled a month's worth of distance on the fastest Earth shuttle in just a few seconds in Blue."

"Yeah! And in no time at all we were shooting right past Kerberos! Then this giant blue wormhole opened up in front of us and Blue said we should go through it." Hunk paused and looked at the others. "We talked about the lions being sapient right?"

"I think so."

"Yeah, pretty sure."

The video paused and a caption scrolled across the bottom saying **We did not. The lions are, in fact, sapient.**

The video continued.

"So we all decided to go through it, mostly because we were still being followed by the Galra ship. The wormhole dropped us off right above this planet, air-us… Are-us?"

"Arus," the woman from the beginning of the video said from offscreen.

"Right, thanks Allura. So we landed on Arus and found this giant castle. And that's where we met our second batch of aliens."

"A story that will have to wait until next time," Pidge said as a chirping sound came from offscreen. "The video'll run too long if we keep going."

"Oh man, what are we going to do for a sign off?" Hunk asked.

"Can't we just sign off?" Shiro suggested. "Just, _Team Voltron, signing off!_ "

"No!"

"We can do better than that. How about…"

"Cavast quiu!"

The group turned to Coran and Shiro asked, "What?"

"It's a traditional Vanix parting saying. It vaguely translates to, _Until our stories meet again._ "

"Um… we might want to stick with something a bit more familiar, Coran," Hunk said.

"I thought it was a good idea," Allura hummed.

"What about, _Let's go, Voltron Force!_ " Hunk tried.

"Voltron force?" Pidge raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it could be our team name."

"Nah. Hey, what about," the camera zoomed in on Pidge as they saluted to the camera, "Until next time, everyone! Voltron, disband!"

* * *

 **Replay?**


	2. 2 - Found Some Cats

**VoltronPals**  
 **Published on Oct 26, 2029**

Part two of two. We meet aliens and steal some lions.

* * *

Keith and Lance stood in the middle of an empty room wearing armor. Lance was holding a blaster while Keith seemed to be checking something on the floor.

"I'm doing it," Lance said, raising the gun.

"It's not going to work."

"Shows what you know, Mullet!" Lance fired the gun.

The blast to flew a short ways, then bounced off an invisible wall sending the blast back at him. He dropped to the ground with a yelp and the blast flew over both their heads before bouncing off another invisible wall and sailing off into the air.

"Told you."

"Well then why don't you get us out of here!"

"I'm trying," Keith huffed, raising his hand and extending it. "I think we go this w-" Keith cut off as his hand hit another invisible wall, briefly sending it into view before he jerked backwards with a shriek.

The screen went black and words began to scroll up, Pidge's voice reading them aloud. "Warning: these people are all either professionals, geniuses, aliens, idiots, or some combination thereof. Do not try this at home."

A cartoon ufo flew across the screen replacing the darkness with the unnamed young woman and older man from the first video.

"Hello internet humans of Earth. I am Princess Allura of the Planet Altea. It is a pleasure to meet you all," she said with a small wave.

"And I am Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe, the princess's adviser. How are you?"

"They're not going to be able to respond," Pidge said from offscreen.

"You said they could leave comments."

"I- Well, yeah, but not until after we post the video."

"So they can tell me how they are then."

"… Fair enough."

The video switched to the star room, the aliens having joined the trio with Allura in Lance's chair and Coran standing next to Shiro.

"So inside the castle we mentioned before, we found Allura and Coran here in cryostasis," Pidge explained.

"My father, King Alfor, had us placed in cryopods to protect us from the Galra Empire," Allura added.

"Yeah, they'd been in there for ten thousand years. Well, ten thousand of their years. We're still trying to figure out how exactly that translates to Earth time. It's definitely a long time to be frozen though?" The last part coming out as a question as Hunk glanced over at Allura, who nodded.

"It's also long enough that the Galra's leader that they remember, Zarkon, should be dead by now, but guess again! Shiro has vague memories of being his prisoner so… Wait, has anyone considered that he could be a different Galra with the same name instead of the same exact guy?" Pidge asked.

There was a moment of silence as everyone turned to one another.

"Honestly, with everything we've seen, I just kind of accepted the evil guy being immortal," Hunk muttered.

"Me too," Shiro said.

"That is a good point," Coran hummed.

"Oh my god," Pidge snickered.

"What would be the chances though?" Allura asked. "We just happen to wake up while someone with the same name is in power."

"Also a good point."

"Maybe it's just a common royal name for the Galra? Maybe he's actually King Zarkon XV or something," Hunk said.

"Pardon?"

The screen switched to a family tree diagram made up of purple cats, all labeled Zarkon.

"You know, like he's the fifteenth Zarkon in a row? Like, his dad would have been Zakon XIV and his dad would have been Zarkon XIII and so on," Hunk explained.

"You know what, I changed my mind. Fifteen Zarkons sound a lot worse than one immortal one," Pidge said.

"Like that whole _Would you rather face twenty mouse sized horses or one horse sized mouse?_ game." The screen switched to a picture of fifteen small angry purple cats next to a larger one in a toga as Hunk continued with, "Would you rather face fifteen normal Zarkons or one immortal one?"

"Are we facing all fifteen at once or is it like a boss fight in a video game with each one sitting in their own castle?" Pidge asked.

"Define immortal. Is he like a god so he can't be harmed or is he more like a jasno so he doesn't age, but he can still be killed?" Allura asked.

"I don't see how any of these scenarios would be fun. This is an odd game," Coran said.

"Normally you wouldn't actually have to do either option. It's funner when you're not actually contemplating having to do the terrible options. Guys, maybe we shouldn't be playing Would You Rather right now," Shiro interjected.

The screen returned to the star room. Shiro was missing while Hunk and Pidge had switched seats, the latter of whom was tapping at a laptop and drinking a juice pouch.

"We ready?" a dozing Hunk yawned as Shiro came in.

"Yeah. But Coran, you should probably look into trying to lower the strength on the electric maze for next time."

"Where were we?" Pidge snickered, closing the laptop and setting it down.

"I believe we were discussing the pros and cons between fifteen normal Zarkons vs. a single immortal one," Coran answered.

"Can we just," Shiro said quickly before Pidge could start. "Just agree that given our luck he's probably the same guy and move on until we can get more information?"

There was a round of agreements, some more begrudging than others.

"Thank you."

"So… we left to get the other lions next, right?" Hunk asked.

"Yeah. Allura said we needed to find the other ones before Zarkon could so she started telling us about how each lion only lets a specific character trope pilot them and how each of us fit each trope."

"That's not how she explained it, Pidge."

"Oh really?"

The image changed to a picture of cartoon Allura standing next to a pulldown screen displaying a black cat with red wings and a light blue halo.

"The Black Lion's paladin," Pidge said, mimicking Allura's accent, "is a born leader and strong willed." A shutter animation replaced the lion with a cartoon Shiro saluting in his Garrison uniform. "He is the Levelheaded Leader trope."

"Pidge."

Another shutter swapped Shiro with a green cat wearing glasses. "The Green Lion favors those of cunning and intellect."

"I'm pretty sure she said daring, Pidge," Hunk chuckled. "Green isn't Slytherin."

The cat was replaced by a caricature of Pidge's head with their hair extra messy and their glasses taking up most their face while they continued on as if they hadn't been interrupted. "She chooses those of the Nerd trope."

Pidge switched to a sleeping yellow cat. "The Yellow Lion is the epitome of the Gentle Giant trope and its paladin reflects that." The cat became Hunk cuddling a puppy. "Though Hunk does fit into the Genius Bruiser trope too."

"Aw! Thanks Pidge!"

"Can we just -"

The shutter left a blue cat with a red ribbon around its neck on the pulldown screen. "The Blue Lion…" Pidge cut off, then, in their normal voice, said, "Actually we never did get to learn how Blue picks."

"Oh, well the Blue Lion is the most open of the lions. Confident, caring, and friendly."

"Huh. So then…" Lance appeared in the cat's place, winking with finger guns. Returning to the Allura impression, Pidge continued, "The Blue Paladin fits into the Team Mom, Heart, or Charmer tropes."

"Charmer certainly sounds like something both Lance and the former Blue Paladin would describe themselves as."

"Quite true, Princess."

"Which leaves the Red Lion." Said lion was represented by a grumpy red cat. "It chooses reckless hotheads."

"That is not how I described the Red Paladin!"

"You have to admit, it's not an entirely incorrect assessment, princess."

"Coran!"

The red cat disappeared, the words **Picture Unavailable due to disagreements between the Artist and Graphic Designer** taking its place. "Said paladins fit the Hot-Blooded, Berserker, or Leeroy Jenkins tropes."

The screen returned to the group in the star room.

"Are you done?" Shiro asked, smiling despite his best attempts to look disapproving.

"Yep. Covered all the lions," Pidge said in their normal voice.

"Thank you." He patted their shoulder then turned to the camera. "So we figured out where the other lions were -"

"Aside from Red," Hunk pointed out.

"Right. And Black was already here in the castle, so Hunk and Lance went together to get Yellow and Pidge and I left to get Green."

"Allura and Coran shot us out of a wormhole straight into a Galra mining operation. We barely made it out alive!" Hunk whined.

"We, on the other hand, landed on this jungle planet filled with creatures that would look at home on a little kids cartoon," Pidge snickered.

"What?"

"Yeah. We met this nice sloth guy that gave us a boat ride straight to Green."

Hunk groaned and covered his face. "Why did you get the easy trip?"

Pidge leaned back, smirking, while Shiro gave the boy a pat on the shoulder.

"In our defense, we really did believe both planets were peaceful. I suppose a lot must change in ten thousand years."

"Especially if your years are anywhere near as long as ours. Ten thousand years ago humans were barely getting the hang of agriculture," Shiro said.

"Truely?"

"Yeah. It'd be around 8,000 BC on our calendar so that would be when -"

"Nope, stopping you there," Pidge interrupted. "You and Coran can geek out about History stuff on your own time."

"Yeah, I'm with Pidge on this one," Hunk said and Allura gave a small nod.

"It sounds fascinating though. If your years are the same length as ours, or shorter, than you all went through quite a lot of advancement in such a short -"

"So once we got the lions, we needed to find Red," Pidge said over Coran's muttering. "Thankfully Coran had managed to track it down by the time we got back with Green and Yellow, but it turns out the Galra had gotten to it first because it was on a big Galra ship floating up above Arus."

"Yeah, we weren't sure what to do -"

"Weren't sure?" Pidge shot Hunk a glare. "You and Lance wanted to leave! Keith and I wanted to stay and fight."

"Yeah, well, you just got back from a paradise. We had barely escaped getting Yellow with our lives!"

"We couldn't just abandon -"

"Pidge, Hunk, enough. It's over," Shiro said, setting his hands on their shoulders. "It was Allura's decision in the end."

"Yes," Allura sighed. "I wasn't sure what to do either, but Coran suggested I speak to my father for advice."

"King Alfor stored his memories in the castle," the elder man explained.

"Think virtual ghost," Hunk added. "Crossed with the holodeck."

"It was good to see that some part of him has survived our sleep." Allura's voice was calm, but her eyes were starting to look glassy.

"Oh, come here." Hunk pulled the princess into a hug and she tucked her face into his shoulder.

The video cut out as Shiro and Coran stepped forwards and returned to the group back in place.

Looking more composed, Allura smoothed down her dress, saying, "Sorry for that."

"It's fine, Princess," Shiro said softly.

"Yes, well, as we were saying, my father assured me that my first instinct was the right one. We needed to stand our ground. So Shiro and I came up with a plan."

"Which somehow worked despite the fact we almost immediately went off plan. See, Shiro, Keith, and I snuck onto the Galra ship, but then Shiro realized that the ship was the same one that had taken him from Kerberos, which meant my family might have still been there. So, well…"

The video cut to Lance and Keith.

"You guys ditched me!" Keith shouted and Lance snorted and nearly fell off his chair.

"Keith, you're supposed to talk to the camera," Pidge snickered.

He shot a sleepy glare offscreen then turned to the camera. "They ditched me."

"We didn't ditch you."

"Yes, you did, Shiro!"

"What happened after they ditched you?" Lance asked.

"I ran around in circles until I managed to sense Red's energy. After that I just had to prove myself to her like Allura said and I was able to meet back up with you guys."

"How'd you prove yourself?"

"I opened the hanger doors and launched myself and a group of evil robots into the void."

"Keith, what the quiznak?"

The boy leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. "I had to get rid of the robots and didn't manage to hold on. It's fine; Red caught me."

"Did you know it would catch you?"

"No," Keith yawned, his head tilting forwards. "Worked out though."

Lance sent the camera an incredulous look before it switched back to the others.

"It was a bust, though," Pidge sighed. "My family wasn't there. At least we were able to free some of the other prisoners and send them home."

"And while you guys were doing that, Lance and I were acting as bait."

"Well, since the Galra already knew about Blue and Yellow and the lions are what they want, it made sense for you two to distract them while we used Green to sneak onboard," Shiro pointed out.

"Yeah, I know, it just seems like Lance and I keep getting the hardest jobs."

"Hey, at least you guys were in giant robot cats with lasers and stuff! Shiro and I had to face off against a group of robots with just my Bayard and his cyborg arm!"

"True."

"Speaking of Bayards." Pidge held up a black, white, and green hilt-like device. "This is the weapon of choice for the pilots of the Voltron lions, or the Voltron Paladins." The device glowed and a blade appeared on top. "The weapon changes depending on the Paladin. According to Keith, both he and I have katar Bayards. Though his is longer, like an actual sword."

"And yours has a taser function," Hunk added.

Pidge smirked. "Something Lance found out the hard way when he tried to make fun of it."

The video cut to a picture of Hunk holding up a large, yellow and white gun. "I didn't bring my Bayard, but it turns into this big energy canon. I'm still trying to figure it out, but it's pretty cool."

The video returned to the tired boys.

"No!" Lance shouted. "Before we talk about my awesome Bayard, we need to talk about Hunk's."

"We did Hunk's already. While you were in the maze."

"Hunk got a BFG! He seriously got a big freaking gun! It weighs more than I do and he lifts it like it's nothing! He needs recognition for this! You and I both know he didn't say it was a BFG, so I'm saying it now!"

"You need to go to bed," Pidge snorted.

"Maybe we should finish their stuff later."

"No, no, I'm done, Shiro." He held his hand next to his cuisse and his Bayard appeared in a flash. It looked just like Pidge's in the hilt form, but with blue in place of the green. In another flash it transformed into a sleek gun. "Now my Bayard might not be a BFG, but it's built for speed and precision, just like me." He pointed it at the camera and winked.

Pidge groaned, but he ignored them.

He turned to Keith, who was still leaning back in his seat, his head tilted down so his hair covered the top half of his face. "Alright, Mullet. Your turn."

There was a moment of silence.

Lance poked Keith with his Bayard, then leaned closer to him. "He's asleep."

Pidge started laughing.

Shiro came on screen and picked up the sleeping teen. "Alright, you both are going to bed now."

"Quiznak!" Lance huffed, crossing his arms.

Keith muttered something and snuggled against Shiro's chest.

"Oh my god," Pidge laughed as Shiro left the room.

"Come on, buddy. You and Lance can rest up before dinner."

"That's adorable," Lance breathed. Suddenly he went pale and turned to the camera. "Wait, you turned that off right?"

"Yep," Pidge chirped.

Lance's eyes narrowed. "You're a filthy liar! You better delete that footage!"

"Not on your life! You calling Keith adorable is blackmail gold!"

"I wasn't- Keith isn't- Give me that camera!"

"Run Rover!"

The video cut from Lance leaping towards the camera back to the others.

"And Shiro doesn't have his either since we don't have a black one," Hunk said.

"It was lost to us," Allura said, glancing back at Coran.

"It's not too bad though, because the Galra gave him an awesome prosthetic with a laser hand that he can fight with," Pidge said, tuning to point at Shiro.

Humoring the girl, he lifted up his right arm, which was replaced by a silver prosthetic from half-way down his upper arm. The hand lit up with a flicker of fuschia energy.

"I'd love to take that apart and see how it works," Hunk said and Pidge nodded.

"It is quite fascinating," Coran agreed.

A photo of Shiro came up. He was wearing armor like Lance's and Keith's, though his own was black were theirs were blue and red respectively, and his hand was buried in a grey and purple robot. It was captioned **Glowing 1000 Degree Hand Vs Galra robot!**

"You should have seen it tearing apart those robots!" Pidge cheered. "He cut through them like they were nothing."

"Alright, guys, let's get back on track."

Back with the group, Hunk tilted his head to the side. "Where were we?" He started counting on his fingers. "We saved Shiro, found Blue, released Allura and Coran, found the other lions, attacked the ship."

"Shiro and I broke in and freed the prisoners while Keith stole Red back."

"So next we unlocked Black's hanger, right?"

"Yeah, that's where we were."

Shiro snorted and shook his head.

"Black was locked up at the bottom of the castle, and we needed to bring all the other lions to the hanger to open it," Pidge explained. "Which we did."

"Then we flew out to fight off the Galra ship, but, well…"

"We didn't know how to actually form Voltron," Hunk offered as Shiro trailed off.

"Hunk tried smashing Yellow into Red, which sent Keith flying since Red is nearly half Yellow's size," Pidge chuckled.

"It seemed reasonable at the time, and I was under a lot of stress. We nearly got beamed up!"

"It was as good as any idea we'd had at the time," Shiro acknowledged. "Thankfully we did manage to form Voltron in the end, though it was mostly out of desperation."

"And then we smashed the ship!" Pidge cheered and Hunk high-fived them.

The video briefly showed Voltron landing on the ground as a purple and grey ship exploded behind it before returning to the star room.

"That part was pretty exciting," Hunk said. "The first part, not so much."

"And it's only going to get more exciting from here," Coran pointed out.

"Great," Hunk groaned.

"Which is why we're training our skills and improving our teamwork," Shiro said, patting him on the shoulder.

"Team bonds are important for forming Voltron," Allura agreed. "Speaking of which, you should get back to training now. And we need to check the results of the engine diagnostics."

"Oh yeah, so the castle doubles as a spaceship. Probably should have mentioned that earlier," Pidge pointed out. "How are they looking, by the way?" they added, turning to Allura.

"Anything we can do to help?" Hunk offered.

"No, no, they just need some warming up after sitting for so long," Coran dismissed.

"And you all should be focused on training," Allura said, crossing her arms. "You still can't form Voltron consistently."

"Hey, at least this doubles as a bonding exercise," Shiro noted.

"Better than blind flying," Hunk muttered.

"Besides, Keith and Lance are still in the maze," Pidge snickered.

"Well, we can still work on your flying," Shiro offered. "Neither of you trained as pilots, right?"

"No, but I've read up on it. I could use some tips though."

"I'd like some help too," Hunk said. "If that's okay?"

"Sure."

"Great." Allura pulled Pidge and Hunk to their feet and pushed them out of frame. "Then let's move."

"Wait!"

"Allura, we still need to sign off!"

Shiro shook his head at the three before turning to the camera. "Until next time, everyone! Voltron, disband!"

"Cavast quiu!" Coran chirped, earning a look from the younger man.

* * *

 **Replay?**


	3. 3 - Life Is Great!

**VoltronPals**  
 **Published on Oct 27, 2029**

We form Voltron, kick some giant robot butt, and party with aliens.

* * *

The video opened with a quartet of multicolored lion robots moving around an open area. The Blue and Yellow Lions moved next to each other.

 _"_ _Why are we doing this again?"_ Lance's voice asked as the Black Lion climbed up on top of them. _"_ _I thought we agreed Keith's cheerleader idea didn't work."_

"Just hold still. Okay, Keith, now climb on top of Black."

The Red Lion flew up and settled right between Black's wings. _"_ _Like this?"_

"Perfect! Just hold still for one moment, I want to make sure Green's got a good view of you for the video."

 _"_ _Video?"_

 _"_ _What!?"_

 _"_ _Pidge!"_

 _"_ _I should have known,"_ Shiro sighed.

The screen went black and words began to scroll up, Pidge's voice reading them aloud. "Warning: these people are all either professionals, geniuses, aliens, idiots, or some combination thereof. Do not try this at home."

A cartoon Black Lion flew past the screen, revealing Lance, Hunk, and Pidge sitting in the star room.

"Good news everyone! We formed Voltron!" Lance cheered.

"Apparently all it took was us getting in a food fight against Coran and Allura," Pidge said, shrugging.

"Like Mom says, food fixes everything," Hunk agreed.

"It was certainly a better idea than some of the other Altean team building exercises," Lance huffed.

Pidge rolled her eyes. "You guys got out the maze eventually, didn't you?"

"Do you know how many times we got electrocuted?" Lance yelled. "I think I'm still twitching!" He held his hand up to his face and stared at it.

It was twitching a bit.

"And it wasn't just the maze!" The video cut to a view of the lions running around as laserfire rained down on them. "What about when Allura set the castle's defenses on us?"

"Oh!" Hunk chirped and the video switched to the five humans standing in a circle, trying (and failing) to block laserfire from small orbs that flew around them. "Or that time with the drones."

"Blind flying was fun though," Lance hummed.

"Speak for yourself," Hunk disagreed.

A picture came up of Red half-buried with its rear end sticking up into the air while Blue was stuck in a crevice.

"Didn't you and Keith crash because you two were trying to race each other while diving straight towards the ground?" Pidge chuckled.

"What? No!"

"Yeah, dude, I had to help dig you guys out."

"Hunk!"

"I got photo evidence Lance," Pidge said.

"Well, it's not like you guys did any better! Shiro was the only one who managed to do that whole _See through the lions' eyes_ thing Coran was talking about. And you were the one who freaked over the mind meld."

The video returned to the three to show Pidge glaring at Hunk.

"Because _he_ wouldn't stop digging through my head!"

"Coran said we were supposed be in each others heads," Hunk argued.

"He said we needed to be open, not that you needed to go digging around in my private thoughts!"

"If you guys are going to keep fighting then we aren't going to do this anymore."

The three looked up past the camera at Shiro's voice.

"This is supposed to be for bonding," he said, coming into view alongside Keith. "We just managed to form Voltron yesterday, please don't ruin it."

"Yeah, Allura would probably kill us," Hunk groaned.

"What were you guys even fighting about?" Keith asked.

"We were talking about the different team bonding exercises Allura and Coran forced us through."

"Oh, you mean how they handcuffed us together," Keith growled.

A photo came up of the five sitting along a table, chained together by their wrists. Coran stood at the end of the table with a smug smile.

"Eh, I'd say that was the most normal one," Pidge said. "A lot better than that robot they sicked on us."

The video returned to the group as Keith cocked his head. "I liked that exercise."

"We got our butts handed to us, Mullet!"

"We're going to be in a lot of fights. Training like that is important."

"All our training is important," Shiro corrected.

 _"_ _Which is why you all should be training right now."_

The group jumped as Allura's voice echoed into the room, fuzzy from the intercom.

"How does she do that?" Lance stage whispered, staring up at the ceiling and clutching Hunk's arm.

The scene was replaced with another outside view, this time showing Voltron standing near part of the alien ship that had blown up.

 _"_ _Is Rover ready, Pidge?"_

 _"_ _All set, Lance."_

 _"_ _Great, then let's do this!"_

Voltron took a few steps forwards before kicking the ship. The view followed the ship as it sailed into the distance before returning to Voltron just in time to see them start to fall. Their blue leg came back down to stabilize them, but overcorrected and they fell on their face.

The five pilots all groaned in pain.

 _"_ _Glad you insisted Pidge get_ that _on video."_

 _"_ _Shut your quiznak, mullet."_

The video cut away with red and blue banners to show Keith in profile sitting at a table and staring down at a steaming, green and yellow something in a bowl.

"Come on, don't be chicken! Try it! Coran put a lot of effort into his food!"

Keith looked just above the camera. "Then why don't _you_ try it?"

"Because my body is a temple while you've spent the past year in a desert. Who knows what you've put in your body?"

Keith sent Lance an unimpressed look then turned back to the food. He stabbed one of the yellow tentacle-things on a spork and brought it up to his face. His nose scrunched up, but he shoved it in his mouth.

"Well?"

Keith swallowed and shrugged. "It's not as bad as I figured. Kind of like undercooked rattlesnake."

"Under- Why do you even know what undercooked rattlesnake tastes like?"

Keith opened his mouth to answer.

"Actually, I don't want to know."

A blue-armored arm entered the frame, spearing another tentacle on a spork before disappearing. There was a moment of silence, then the view dropped to the floor as Lance began gagging.

"Ugh! That was disgusting!"

"Yep."

"That was worse than Garrison meatloaf!"

"Yep."

"You said it wasn't bad!"

"I said it wasn't _as bad_ as I'd thought it be. And it isn't. It's still awful though."

The camera came back up to show Keith's smug face.

"I hate you."

Another scene change, this time in the form of confetti falling from the top of the screen.

The new scene showed a party attended by small, waist high creatures either wearing snail shell-shaped helmets or with protrusions on their heads taking said shape. Hunk, Coran, Lance, and Allura were all on screen. Coran was hugging one of the new aliens while Hunk and Lance played with a few others.

Allura, on the other hand, was staring at the camera.

"Hello again, humans! I have some news. It would seem the planet we've been on, Arus, is populated. The native Arusians are a peaceful race and have invited us to a festival in our honor. There were a, um, few minor misconceptions about our identities -"

"They thought you were a goddess," Keith elaborated from off screen, "and that you had sent Voltron down to destroy them."

"Yes, Keith, thank you," she said, send an annoyed look just above the camera before returning to her smile. "However everything has been cleared up now." She glanced over to where a large fire was blazing. "Thankfully before anyone was hurt. And now - Shiro?"

"What's going on?"

Suddenly the camera shook and a few arusians stumbled. The view spun around to show something falling from the sky.

"Oh, no. We gotta get to our Lions!"

The video skipped to show six of the group sitting in the star room. Allura, Hunk, and Pidge were sitting in the chairs with Lance on the ground leaning against Hunk's legs and Keith and Shiro standing behind them.

"So apparently the Galra can create giant robot monster things to fight us with. Good to know," Hunk said.

"Giant robot monster things that can kick our giant robot butt," Pidge added.

"Hey, we won didn't we?" Lance objected.

"Only because Keith was able to make Voltron create a sword using his bayard," Pidge countered.

"Yeah, that was really cool though. Did you get a picture of it, Pidge?" Hunk asked.

"How? It's not like any of the lions would have had a good view and I wasn't going to call Rover into a fight like that."

"I think you were too far for the castle cameras as well," Allura said.

"Great!"

Hunk frowned down at Lance. "Why is that great?"

A caricature of Voltron appeared on screen. Their blue foot was pinning a purple robot while they held a sleek, glowing backsword straight up.

"Because it means Pidge will have no choice but to use my pic!"

"We are not using that picture! Allura wasn't even to scale in that!"

"For the record," Keith cut in. "I toned it down when I digitized it. I also took out Allura."

"WHAT!? You can't censor my art, Mullet!"

"Do I even want to know?" Allura sighed.

"No," Pidge and Keith said at once.

"Come on, it wasn't that bad!"

"Well, if you think Allura won't kill you for turning her into a swooning damsel in distress…" Pidge hummed.

The video switched back to the group to show Lance holding his hands up in surrender as he scooted away from a glaring Allura.

"We should probably just be glad he had her in her normal outfit," Pidge snickered. "It could have been a bikini slave outfit."

"Hey, I'm a gentleman!"

"Sure you are."

"Shiro, help!"

"You got yourself into this one."

Lance and Allura stared at one another until she said, "Run."

Lance took off.

Allura watched him go before sitting back.

"You're… not going to chase him?" Hunk asked.

"Not yet."

Hunk and Pidge shared a look while Shiro chuckled and Keith smirked.

"Right, well, um, oh! I got some news on my family," Pidge said. "Those prisoners we freed from the Galra ship confirmed Shiro and my family had been there. Apparently my dad had been sent off to a work camp, but Matt and Shiro had been sent to a gladiatorial arena. At first, at least."

Shiro frowned and nodded. "Some of my memory came back and I found out I had attacked Matt, Pidge's brother, before he could fight so that he'd be sent away with his dad."

"I also managed to get some information off that ship we destroyed. Not as much as I would have liked, though, since that robot smashed the ship, but hopefully it will be enough. I've got some programs working on decrypting everything I got now. Actually," Pidge brought up a screen on their gauntlet, "it should be almost - What? It's done! Why didn't it notify me?"

"Pidge!" Shiro called out as they leapt to their feet and ran out. He sighed and yelled, "Just make sure you're ready for the party later."

"Yeah, yeah! Rover, come on!"

The confetti transition came again to reveal Hunk's nervous face.

"Right, so Pidge gave me this thing and told me that all the editing for the video was finished and all I needed to do was tape some stuff for the party and it'd upload live, but I'm not actually sure how to do this or if it's even taping right now or what, but, well, things have kind of gone down hill.

"I mean, the party's not bad." the camera turned to show the Arusians partying in a large white hall. "They all seem to be having fun and they put on this little show about Voltron beating that robot guy, but," the camera turned to show Shiro talking to Keith and Allura staring worriedly off in the distance, "Pidge gave us some bad news. Apparently he found a lead on his family, so he's taking off on his own. And now Keith's miffed and Allura's kind of freaking out." The camera turned back to Hunk's face. "And I can't find Lance and I'm probably freaking out a little too and I think Keith's just as mad at me as Pidge because I said I wanted to go home." Hunk sighed, his head and shoulders drooping. "Man, could things get any worse right now?"

The camera shook and an explosion sounded, followed by screams.

* * *

 **Replay?**


	4. 4 - Spoilers: We Survived!

As this is meant to adhere to the canon plot line, there will be no shipping in this except between ships that are explicitly canon.

That said, these "videos" are meant to be edited by Pidge, who has been proven in canon to make jokes about the others being in relationships.

* * *

 **VoltronPals**  
 **Published on Oct 30, 2029**

We're alive! Most of us. R.I.P Rover! I, Pidge, saved the day because I'm more BA than any of these losers.

* * *

The video opened to Keith and Lance lit by soft purple light while "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" played. Keith knelt next to Lance and helped him sit up. The two stared into each other's eyes as Lance said something unheard. Lance's eyes fluttered shut and Keith slipped his arms around him, picking the taller boy up in a bridal carry. He said something to someone unseen before walking away.

The screen went black and words began to scroll up, Pidge's voice reading them aloud. "Warning: these people are all either professionals, geniuses, aliens, idiots, or some combination thereof. Do not try this at home."

Once the words were gone, another caption faded into view while "He Lives In You" began.

 **In memory of Rover, the best stolen alien drone a girl could ask for.**

 **October 24, 2029 - October 28, 2029**

 **He died a hero.**

The caption faded away a picture of a little pyramid shaped robot came up with the words **REST IN PEACE** written around it.

Slowly the music faded out and the view switched to the group minus Lance in the star room, the three youngest humans sitting while Shiro and the Alteans stood.

"Hey, everyone, sorry about the, uh, abrupt ending on the last video. We lost power so the upload cut out," Hunk chuckled. "Good news first though, Pidge isn't leaving!"

Pidge rolled their eyes as Hunk threw his arm around them. "Yeah, after everything that happened, I realized that this was where I was meant to be."

"He was meant to be with us!" Hunk cheered, tugging Pidge into an actual hug. Then he yanked Keith into the hug as well. "Group hug!"

Keith gave a startled noise and froze in Hunk's arms.

"Right, that's enough," Pidge said, wiggling out of the hug. "So they heard the explosion?"

Hunk loosened his grip on Keith - who shifted so he was sitting more comfortably, but otherwise didn't pull away - and said, "Yeah, I think it cut out right after that."

"It was caused by the Galra," Shiro explained, the group falling somber. "They managed to send a bomb drone in disguised as Rover, the drone Pidge had stolen and rewired. Coran and Lance got caught in the blast."

Coran nodded with a frown. "Lance noticed the fake just before it blew, but he only had enough time to push me out of the way so he took the brunt of it."

"Coran was mostly okay, but Lance wasn't looking good when we got to them. I mean, he'll be okay now, but…" Hunk trailed off.

A picture came up of Lance wearing a bodysuit and standing in an odd capsule. His eyes were closed and his face relaxed.

"He's in a cryo-replenisher right now," Coran said. "His armor protected him for the most part, but he had a few burns on his face and a lot of blunt trauma, all of which the replenisher can fix up. The problem was that the explosion destroyed the crystal that powered the ship. Without that, we couldn't help Lance."

The video returned to the group.

"On top of that, the Galra set a fire in the Arusian's village," Allura sighed. "With Coran and Hunk needing to get a new crystal, Lance out of commision, and Keith and I heading down to the village to assist, the castle was left nearly undefended and open to attack. The Galra invaded, capturing Shiro in the process."

"They had a crystal of their own and plugged it in. Which meant that by the time Keith and Allura figured out the fire was a diversion and came back, the Galra had activated the castle's particle barrier, locking them out," Pidge said. "Thankfully I was still inside so I was able to go _Home Alone_ on their space cat butts!"

"You were able to what?" Allura asked.

"He just means he was able to use his superior creativity, small size, and knowledge of the territory to his advantage to take down a group of people invading his home," Hunk explained.

"Oh."

"You humans sure have a lot of odd phrases," Coran hummed.

"I thought _Home Alone_ was a movie," Keith said, looking back at Shiro.

"It is. That's what Pidge's referencing."

"Yeah, I was basically Kevin McCallister - the main character of the movie, Keith - but better." A collage of photos appeared on screen. One depicted a wide shot of Pidge driving their bayard into a control panel. "I stopped them from taking off by smashing the engine controls." Another showed a group of Galra robots being mowed down by a fuschia lightning bolt. "I fried a bunch of their robots by tricking them into shooting some energy arcs using a hologram." A third showed Pidge flying through the air away from a robot whose arm was separated from it by a transparent wall. "Oh, and I took down some in the invisible maze." The last was of Pidge facing off against a slim Galra.

"And didn't you fight a guy in the turbine room?" Hunk added.

"That… that one was more Rover's victory."

"Oh."

The video returned to the star room with Hunk rubbing the back of a sorrowful Pidge.

"Pidge's little friend unfortunately died in the line of duty," Coran said, rubbing his eyes. "He will be missed."

Hunk nodded, pulling Pidge into another hug and Shiro stepped forwards to squeeze their shoulder. "Maybe you should take a moment outside."

"Yeah, come on, Pidge." Hunk stood up and carried them out, Shiro right behind him.

Meanwhile both Allura and Keith looked uncomfortable.

"It was just a Galra droid," Allura said after a few moments, staring off where the three had disappeared. "It's not like it had any thoughts or feelings besides it's basic AI programming, right?"

"Of course," Coran chirped, looking fine. "But the humans got so attached, I felt it best to humor them."

Allura turned to Keith, who shrugged. "Don't look at me. I've never understood it. Matt had this Roomba - a robot vacuum thing - that he swore hated him and Shiro once tried to convince me his plant could understand spoken language. He might have just been messing with me though. Or maybe he was just crashing because of finals week. Either way."

"Either way, what?" Shiro asked as he and Hunk returned.

"Keith was telling us about your talking plant," Coran said.

"My…" Shiro stared at the Altean for a moment before shooting Keith a look and shoving his shoulder hard enough to send him off his chair.

"Hey!"

"That was one time! I had been up for thirty-six hours straight and downed an entire pack of Red Bull, _would you let it go?_ It's bad enough you told Matt."

"But you'd called it Hanako even before that and when you left for Kerberos you made me promise to talk to it when I watered it," Keith huffed, getting up with help from Hunk.

"It's been scientifically proven that talking to plants makes them grow better."

"That doesn't explain the name."

"And what happened to Hanako, Keith?"

The boy froze, then turned to Hunk. "Hey, where'd Pidge get to?"

"Keith, what happened to her?"

"He should be here, right?"

"Did you kill my baby?"

"I'm going to go find him!"

"Keith!" Shiro yelled, chasing the boy out of the room.

"Next time choose a more resilient plant!"

"I trusted you!"

"So… that happened," Hunk chuckled.

"You humans sure do get attached to the oddest things," Coran hummed.

"Yeah."

"What's up with Shiro and Keith?" Pidge asked, coming on screen.

"Keith killed his plant."

"Apparently it was his child?" Allura said, though it came out more like a question.

"Eh, humans are social creatures. The Garrison doesn't allow pets so those of us living on site find other outlets. My brother had a roomba. My roomate had a toy animal. We can form _pack bonds_ with literally anything. "

"Clearly."

"So should we go pull Shiro off Keith or -"

"Leave them," Pidge cut Hunk off, dropping back into their seat. "So we heard about my adventures. What happened with you two?"

"So, the place we needed to get the new crystal from was this big living planet called a Balmera," Hunk started.

"It's not actually a planet. It's an ancient animal -"

"It's a rock animal in the shape of a planet, Coran."

"Well, yes, I suppose that's a simple way of putting it, but -"

"But the Balmera turned out to be under Galra control," Hunk cut over him. "Which meant we were under attack the moment we made it into the atmosphere. Thankfully the Balmerans helped us hide. We met this nice Balmeran named Shay who took us in and helped us find the crystal we needed."

Pidge smirked and nudged him, "A nice Balmeran?"

"Yes," he said slowly.

"How nice?"

"Well, she and her brother helped us hide our ship and she rescued us when we got captured and even stole the crystal and hid it in our ship. She was great. That's why we need to head out as soon as we can. She needs help."

"Wow, so a _really_ nice Balmeran girl, huh?"

"What are you -"

"Nice enough to take her home?"

Hunk blushed. "Wh-what? I- She's not- She's just a friend!"

"Sure," Pidge drawled.

"Pidge!"

"Did you say you got captured?" Allura intervened.

"Nothing for you to worry over, princess," Coran waved off. "It was just a minor inconvenience. We escaped rather quickly."

"With help from Hunk's girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"So how did you all fare? Did Pidge take down the entire invasion?" Coran asked.

"Basically."

Allura nodded. "Pidge did much. She took down most of the Galra by the time the mice were able to turn off the particle barrier to let Keith and I in."

"The mice!" Hunk gasped. "Have we shown them the mice yet?"

"I don't believe so. I can go fetch them."

The scene cut forwards. Allura sat between Pidge and Keith while Hunk stood with Shiro and Coran. Allura held up her hands to display a quartet of mice. "These are Altean Jeomzud mice. From what the paladins have told me, they're rather similar to your earth mice, aside from coloration. The yellow one here is Platt, the pink Chuchule, the grey Plachu, and the blue is little Chulatt."

Each of the mice gave a little bow as their name was said.

"The mice and Allura are telepathically linked, which is apparently something that can happen if you spend ten thousand years together in a super advanced cryogenic healing tube," Pidge said, sounding doubtful.

"Yes, and because of our bond, I was able to ask the mice to shut down the barrier."

Plachu swung their paws around like they were fighting something.

"Yes, you all did marvously against the sentry. Thank you."

"Wait, the mice fought a robot? Please tell me I have footage of that," Pidge said, grabbing their computer.

The video cut to a robot walking down a catwalk, columns of fuschia lightning tailing down the room on either side of the catwalk.

Suddenly Platt landed on its head.

It tried to punch the mouse, but missed and hit itself. It made a grab for him, but then Chuchule dropped down and bit its hand, causing it to start shooting at its feet. It stumbled back and the mice hopped off it as it tumbled over the railing to explode offscreen.

The video returned to the star room.

"Yep, there it is and it's glorious," Hunk breathed, peeking over Pidge's shoulder.

Chulatt winked and did finger guns at Hunk.

"You have been spending too much time with Lance," Pidge snorted.

"So the mice kicked robot butt and let you guys in. Then what happened?" Hunk asked.

"We kicked Galra butt," Pidge said. "You know, after Lance woke up out of nowhere to blast Sendak - the Galra commander - in the back. Then Keith and I fought Sendak and Allura locked him up." A picture came up of a humanoid creature covered in thick purple fur with large bat-like ears, a robotic eye, and a missing arm. He was tucked into a capsule similar to the one Lance was shown in. "We shoved him into a cryo-pod so he can't cause any more trouble."

"Once Hunk and Coran brought in the crystal, we put Lance in the cryo-pod to heal and started to clean up Sendak's mess," Hunk said.

"The crystal they used did a number on the castle's systems," Coran sighed. "It will take a while to go through everything. We've got the major systems cleaned up though so we should be ready for take off tomorrow once Lance is up and around."

"And then we can go help Shay!"

"Girlfriend," Pidge coughed and Hunk gave them a shove.

Chulatt's tail curled into a heart and she batted her eyes at the camera.

Hunk sent her a betrayed look as Pidge fell off the chair laughing.

"You've definitely been spending too much time with Lance," Allura giggled.

"So that's it, right?" Keith asked.

"Seems like it. The only thing that happened after that was Pidge deciding to stay, which we already talked about," Shiro agreed.

"Yeah, it's obvious you guys wouldn't survive without me," they said from the floor.

"So until next time then?" Allura said.

"Voltron, disband!" Hunk cheered and everyone turned to him. "What? I didn't get to say it last time."

* * *

 **Replay?**


	5. 5 - Of Ticks and Trees

I just wanted to let you guys know that there might be a short break between this chapter and the next. I have something special planned for the eighth(?) chapter and am trying to nail some stuff down for it. I've also been trying to nail down how I want season 7 to work for this since... Well, either you saw the season and can understand what I'm getting at or you haven't so I couldn't tell you anyways. I have a vague idea of what I might do, but if you guys have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. It should only be a week at most delay, but I just wanted to give you guys fair warning.

* * *

 **VoltronPals**  
 **Published on Oct 31, 2029**

We learn some stuff, I tease the boys about romance some more, and Lance gets tied to a tree.

* * *

The video opened on the group gathered around the dining room table. Most of them were standing behind the chair Lance was sitting in, but Keith was sitting on the table in front of him and Pidge was leaning against it between them.

The camera slowly zoomed in on the three and an instrumental version of "Kiss the Girl" began playing as Lance leaned forwards, saying, "Sounds like the mice did more than you, though."

"I punched Sendak!"

"Yeah, apparently after I emerged from a coma and shot his arm off."

"We had a bonding moment. I cradled you in my arms!"

"Nope. Don't remember, didn't happen."

The screen went black and words began to scroll up, Pidge's voice reading them aloud. "Warning: these people are all either professionals, geniuses, aliens, idiots, or some combination thereof. Do not try this at home."

The video cut to the cartoon teacher Allura setting from before, though this time a cartoon Keith sitting at a desk had been added in.

"Welcome back, friends, to Allura's Space School!" Pidge's voice announced with faux cheer. "Today's lesson is…"

A clock appeared on the pull down screen.

"The universal time measurement system!"

A question mark appeared over Keith's cartoon version's head as he asked, "What is this and why do I have to be here?"

"It's a segment for the vlogs where Allura gets to inform the viewers about random space stuff," Pidge explained as the question mark disappeared. "You're here because we need a student character. Hunk is too smart, I'm the narrator, and Shiro's an adult. So that leaves you or Lance and Lance is still pouting over Nyma."

"I'm eighteen. I'm an adult too."

"You are? But your in the same grade as Lance and Hunk."

"I have an early birthday."

"Huh… well too late to back out now!"

"But -"

"So Allura, how does time measurements work in space?"

"Shouldn't Coran be doing this? He loves this kind of stuff," Allura pointed out. "He even used to do learning videos."

"He did?" Keith asked.

"You know, I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. Anyways, Allura, I love Coran, but he can ramble, a lot, sometimes. We might bring him in for the more technical stuff, but you should be able to handle the basics," Pidge explained.

"Well, alright then. So the smallest, most commonly used time slice is a tick. Ticks are comparable to Earth seconds though our study has shown that ticks are slightly longer."

"You mean the clock race?" Keith scoffed and his cartoon version's arms became crossed.

"Precisely! I'd estimate there is approximately 1.6 seconds in a tick."

"Where are you getting these numbers?"

"The next smallest time slice is a dobosh, which is comparable to an Earth minute. There are forty-nine ticks to a dobosh.

"Next is a varga -"

"Space hour?" Keith said and a speech bubble appeared over his head while teacher Allura looked angry.

"Yes. There is fifty-five doboshes to a varga."

"What's a space day? Sixty-seven varga?"

"A quintant is twenty varga. And there are five quintants in a movement."

"A space week."

"Are you going to keep interrupting?" Cartoon Allura had her hands on her hips while cartoon Keith turned away.

"I thought that was why I was here."

"Are students on earth allowed to constantly interrupt their teachers?"

"No, but I'm starting to understand why he got kicked out of the Garrison," Pidge snorted.

A lightning bolt hit cartoon Keith as a smack sounded and he yelped with pain.

"Now hush unless you have an actual question," Pidge said. "Allura, the floor's yours."

"Thank you. So the next time slice that is used universally are phoebs, which are composed of six movements or thirty quintants."

"That's actually exactly like a month."

"PIDGE!" Cartoon Allura crossed her arms and glared at the ceiling.

"Right, sorry!"

"Next is a deca-phoeb, which is -"

"Ten phoebs?"

Cartoon Allura threw her arms in the air. "That's it, I'm done!"

Cartoon Keith looked up at the ceiling as Cartoon Allura marched off. "Maybe we should just get Coran next time."

"Nah, this was great."

The video cut away to the star room, where Lance, Pidge, and Hunk were lounging. "Hey everyone! I'm back! And the first thing I'd like to say is…" Lance glared at Pidge. "I saw what you put in at the beginning of the last video you little gremlin! What the quiznak was that?"

"So you _do_ remember the bonding moment," Pidge snickered.

"Well now I do! And there was nothing romantic about it!"

"Uh huh."

"There wasn't!"

"But he cradled you in his arms!" Hunk chuckled, holding his arms up like Keith had.

"Hunk you traitor!" Lance whined, slumping against the larger boy. "How could you do this to me?"

"In other news," Pidge said, shoving the boy off his chair. "It turns out I'm a girl. I mean, I knew I was a girl, but I never told these guys or you all, so yeah. I guess you guys could have looked up my family and found out the truth, but still."

"Yeah, she had this cute little coming out moment. It was great! Lance freaked out because he was the only one who hadn't figured it out," Hunk said, patting her on the back.

"Well excuse me for just taking someone at their word when they say they're a guy!" Lance huffed as he sat back down. "Let's talk about something else, like Hunk's girlfriend!"

Hunk groaned, his hands coming up to cover his face while Pidge laughed.

The video cut to Lance and an unfamiliar yellow alien sitting in some sort of cockpit.

Lance winked at the camera. "Hey everyone, this is Nyma. We're helping her and her team fix up their spaceship."

"Who are you talking to?" she asked with a frown.

"Oh, no one really. The other paladins and I just record these videos to share with the people of our homeworld so they can see what we get up to out here."

"Oh, like reality shows?" she asked, leaning over his shoulder.

"Um, kind of. You guys have reality tv out here?"

"What's tv?"

"Nevermind. Watch this." Lance twisted the controls and Nyma slid to the side slightly, laughing and tightening her grip on his seat.

"Woo!" she cheered. Her eyes widened and she pointed at something beyond the camera. "Look, a kinetic spring! Let's land over there. The minerals reflect off the water, making a rainbow."

He blushed as she pulled her hand back, brushing his shoulder as she went. "Wow. Is there anything you don't know?"

Smiling, Nyma pulled back and tapped at her bracelet. When she turned back to Lance, her eyes landed on the camera and she frowned. She leaned down so her face was next to Lance's and stage whispered, "Maybe we should turn that off now, don't you think?"

As he grew redder, he nodded. "Right, later guys!"

The next cut revealed Lance lying on the ground, his hands chained to a tree and his helmet lying next to him. He was glaring up at the camera with a pout.

"Come on, Mullet, just let me go!"

"Calling me names isn't going to make me go faster, you know."

"Keith! Buddy! Come on!"

"We both know Pidge would kill us if I didn't get a picture of this for her to put in a video."

"KEITH! No one can see this! I'll kill you if you let her put a picture of this on the web!"

"You don't scare me."

"Fine, whatever, just take the picture already! You're as bad as Nyma!"

"At least I'm not the one tied to a tree. What did you even think she was going to do when you let her tie you to it?"

Lance blushed. "I didn't le- JUST TAKE THE PICTURE!"

"I'm trying! I just can't figure out h- Oh."

"What?"

"N-nothing," he breathed, his voice betraying barely restrained laughter. "I got the, uh, the pic. Just let m-"

The video cut away to show Pidge alone in the star room.

"This video is dedicated to Keith in gratitude for getting me the most hilarious video of our local flirt being the you-know-whaty idiot he is," she said, saluting.

"You-know-whaty?" Keith asked from offscreen.

"I can't actually say what he is while keeping this family friendly," she said with a shrug. "The point is, this video goes out to you and your inability to use a camera."

"It's not my fault you and Hunk didn't label anything on that Altean camera you fixed up for me."

"If you had a phone like a normal person you wouldn't need the alien camera in the first place."

"I had a phone, I just left it at the shack so Ad-someone couldn't follow us. Besides, it was a Garrison issued phone. They don't have cameras."

Pidge gaped at his apparent place offscreen before throwing her hands in the air. "A Garri- Keith they had those things blocked and monitored like crazy! How would you have been able to do anything on one of those?"

"What would I have to do besides call people?"

Pidge placed her hands over her chest. "Keith, that is the most pure and innocent thing I've ever heard. Even Hunk has looked up _those videos_ on his phone a few times."

There was a moment of silence before the sputtering began. "Wh-what? How do-do you even know-know-nope, nevermind. I don't want to know. This conversation never happened. I'm too ace for this."

Pidge laughed as the sound of an automatic door swishing open and closed sounded in the background. She winked at the camera and said, "Until next time, everyone! Voltron, disband!"

* * *

 **Replay?**


End file.
